Telegram CEO To Leave Fortune To Over 100 Children He Fathered
The founder of instant messaging app Telegram, Pavel Durov, says the more than 100 children he has fathered will share his estimated $13.9 billion fortune, including those who were born from his sperm donations. What do you think? “Kids who grow up fatherless always have all the luck.” Rick Holdren, Watercolors Expert “And yet, still […]
FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System
The post FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System appeared first on The Onion. source
Trump Assures Nation Uncommonly Violent Ceasefire In Effect
The post Trump Assures Nation Uncommonly Violent Ceasefire In Effect appeared first on The Onion. source
Taylor Swift Wakes Up From Nightmare Where Travis Kelce Wins Oscar Before Her
BOCA RATON, FL—Sitting straight up in bed in a cold sweat as she struggled to shake the horrifying image from her mind, pop superstar Taylor Swift reportedly awoke from a nightmare Tuesday in which her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, won an Oscar before she did. “It was horrible—they called his name, and I had to stand […]
Shroom for Improvement
The post Shroom for Improvement appeared first on The Onion. source
Pete Hegseth Wondering Whether Uranium Would Be A Good Mixer
WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly contemplative as he fantasized about a stiff drink after a long day at work, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth reportedly wondered Monday whether uranium might make a good mixer. “I feel like it could bring out the more chemical notes of gin in a really nice way without overpowering it,” said the Pentagon chief, […]
Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers
The post Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers appeared first on The Onion. source