Royal Train To Be Decommissioned
King Charles will retire the “royal train,” a private rail line established in 1840 to transport members of the royal family across Britain, in an attempt to modernize the monarchy and cut down on costs. What do you think? “I don’t know how Britain continues to justify an outdated institution like trains.” Stephen Tran, Amateur […]
What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill
President Donald Trump’s budget megabill is in the House of Representatives after being narrowly passed by the Senate. Here are the key items in “The One Big Beautiful Bill Act.” Funding for something called “The Facility.” Smaller, phone booth–sized detention boxes on every American street corner. Coupon for “buy two get one free” 12-packs of […]
Killer Tune
The post Killer Tune appeared first on The Onion. source
Stephen Miller Informed Wife Will Be Working Late On Baby For Elon Again
The post Stephen Miller Informed Wife Will Be Working Late On Baby For Elon Again appeared first on The Onion. source
The Onion’s Summer Box Office Preview
The Surfer: Nicolas Cage stars in a psychological thriller about the horrors of not knowing whether young people are making fun of you or not. Another Simple Favor: In this sequel to the 2018 hit A Simple Favor, you’ll come for the outfits, stay for the outfits, and leave wondering if the outfits were worth […]
Study Finds Curative Power Of Prayer Limited To Genital Warts
CHICAGO—Emphasizing the constraints of God’s healing hands, a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association found that the curative power of prayer was limited exclusively to genital warts. “Our data revealed that while people attempt to cure a host of medical conditions by praying, the only ailment it was shown […]
Jared Leto Teases ‘Tron: Ares’ Villain Will Be Teen Girl Who Lies For Attention
LOS ANGELES—Revealing new details about the highly anticipated film, actor and producer Jared Leto teased Wednesday that the villain in Tron: Ares would be a teenage girl who lies for attention. “If you thought Clu was scary in the last film, just wait until you meet Kaylee,” said Leto, who shared that the antagonist would […]