According to border czar Tom Homan, the Trump administration deported about 139,000 people in its first 100 days. Here is a breakdown of the U.S. deportation process:
STEP 1: Authorities confirm suspects’ illegal status by arresting them.
STEP 2: “But I’m a citizen!” repeated back to detainees in nasal sing-song voice.
STEP 3: Deportees blindfolded so they don’t remember how to find America.
STEP 4 Immigrant’s name cross-checked with lists from Ellis Island.
STEP 5: Human rights violation.
STEP 6: Cabin crew offers voucher for anyone willing to give up seat and be deported on next flight.
STEP 7: Average wait time for a DoorDash order goes up by 12 minutes.
STEP 8: Send immigrant post-deportation satisfaction survey to receive honest feedback.
