Claiming they are targets of genocide and discrimination, the Trump administration has granted white South Africans expedited refugee status. Here are the measures the U.S. government is taking to help resettle Afrikaners.
Requiring them to prove they are causing significant hardships in their home country.
Mandating a health screening on arrival completed by a state or local eugenicist.
Making sure they’re up-to-date on their vaccine conspiracies.
Giving each a $13 billion contract for spaceflight technology.
Providing protection from harmful extremists like human rights activists.
Putting them in Black neighborhoods to see if they’ll do another apartheid.
Humming to drown out every answer during the admission interview before stamping “approved” on application.
Resettling them directly into Tucker Carlson’s home studio.
