Kohler Doing Damage Control After CEO Admits He Never Uses Toilets

KOHLER, WI—Rushing out a statement to reaffirm the executive’s love and respect for the company’s signature plumbing product, Kohler was reportedly doing damage control Tuesday after CEO K. David Kohler admitted to the press that he never uses toilets. “David wouldn’t be in this business if he didn’t believe in toilets,” said Kohler assistant director of public relations Diane McCardle, who explained that despite not being a user himself, the CEO was nonetheless a huge fan of toilets and was happy so many people found them useful. “While Mr. Kohler has described himself as ‘more of a natural guy,’ he has always had tremendous respect for people who opt for toilets. He certainly did not intend to shame anyone for using them. Our CEO’s remarks that he prefers to wade into the creek in his backyard to defecate were clearly taken out of context, as was his statement that it just feels easier and more convenient to relieve himself in a plastic bag or garbage can. But consumers should not lose faith in the Kohler brand because of those declarations or the fact that he says he knows a lot of other plumbing-supply CEOs who don’t use toilets either.” At press time, the company had published an apology video of it CEO smiling and praising the quality of Kohler products while using one of its toilets.