New Report Finds Vacationing Sources Habla Un Poquito De Español

MEXICO CITY—In what is being hailed as a groundbreaking linguistic survey of resorts, beaches, and other tourist hotspots, a new report published Wednesday by a consortium of language experts across Mexico found that vacationing sources habla un poquito de español. “According to the data we collected, American-born subjects were eager to tell researchers that they no habla español bien, pero—no se la palabra—they wanted to try,” read the report, which went on to state that 85% of those surveyed in flip-flops, sunglasses, and festive linen shirts knew phrases like “hola, me llamo Steve,” “dónde está el baño,” y “muchas gracias, señor” because they took español en la escuela. “Over the course of our research, we discovered that the sample population was eager to approach locals and strike up conversations about la comida, la playa, y las chicas bonitas. Out of 200 tourist participants, over half were also excited to self-report that they parle un peu de français aussi.” In addition, the study found that when addressed in English, 99% of blushing sources shyly admitted that they habla como un gringo y that ay caramba, tu inglés es muy bien.