Proactive Man Starts Working On Dracula Impression Early So It Ready For Halloween

BEVERLY, MA—Launching into preparations months early in an effort to get a head start, proactive local man Mark Cromwell was reportedly already working on his Dracula impression Wednesday so it would be ready for Halloween. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure when it comes to having a world-class Count Dracula voice,” said Cromwell, confirming he had purchased a rehearsal pair of fangs weeks ago so he could practice enunciating perfectly through the costume teeth. “At this point, it’s just 45 minutes of Dracula voice in the morning and 45 minutes before bed, which is much more manageable than trying to cram all that work in during the first few weeks of October. Right now, my impression is still pretty indebted to Bela Legosi, but I’ve been studying everyone from Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker’s Dracula to Christopher Lee in the Hammer films to make sure I can bring my own spin to the performance that won’t seem like a ripoff. The last thing I want to do is panic on the day and end up saying something stupid like ‘Bleh!’” At press time, Cromwell was said to be contemplating a pivot to a mummy costume after realizing a Dracula impression could take a lifetime to fully perfect.