NEW BEDFORD, MA—Wishing he had seen more of life before taking on such a big commitment, local sailor Marcus Haines told reporters Tuesday that he regretted getting married to the sea so young. “I was so captivated by those big blue waves that I never stopped to consider whether I was rushing into things with the briny deep,” said the contemplative mariner, admitting that he sometimes wondered whether he might have ended up as a forester or even a mountaineer if he’d given himself more time to explore in his youth. “I was only 19 when I gave up the landlubber life to get married to the sea. Just a kid. I wish someone had taken me aside and told me to check out a few lakes and ponds before becoming a salty old sea dog. There was no reason for me to be in such a hurry. And to be clear, it’s not that I don’t care for the sea. But sometimes, when I’m at port, I’ll see a river and wonder: Could I have ended up sailing along that if I hadn’t been so quick to tie the knot with the deep?” Haines added that despite his regrets, he planned to stay married to the sea for his boat’s sake.
An Uptight Diagnosis
June 13, 2025
My doctor’s diagnosis was that I have high blood pressure.I took that diagnosis with a grain of salt. Joke of the day – An Uptight
