The Trump administration is considering proposals that would help reverse the nation’s declining birth rate. Here are the White House’s ideas for encouraging women to have more babies.
Monopoly game pieces on every container of Enfamil sold
Increase American manufacturing of fertility statues
Air-drop rose petals over residential areas
Mandatory twins
Remind Americans that every child is a potential YouTube star
Release the strategic oyster reserves
Award all pregnant women 60 seconds in the booth to grab flying taxpayer dollars
Add sperm to the water supply
Mail everyone a feather boa
Tag ear of every adolescent girl after her first period
