Music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs is currently facing charges of racketeering, kidnapping, and coercing women into sexual activities in federal court. Here is everything you need to know about the trial.
Q: Who is Diddy?
A: Okay, we get it, you were born in 2002.
Q: Is the trial televised?
A: No, you’ll have to wait for Ryan Murphy to get around to it.
Q: Is it true that witnesses are suggesting Diddy could be bisexual?
A: Bisexuals have suffered enough, leave them out of this.
Q: Why’d Diddy blow up Kid Cudi’s car?
A: He is an introvert and direct confrontation makes him nervous.
Q: Is there any aspect of this trial that isn’t extremely disturbing?
A: The architecture of the courthouse itself seems innocuous enough.